This is a hot topic of our age. Despite how the world may try to define spousal roles; God gives us how He has made the ordained role and how it pleases him. From day one, Satan took advantage of the spousal role confusion and looking at the modern family dynamic, not a whole lot has changed. But what are the godly responsibilities of a wife? What will God hold the wife accountable for and how does the true wife role benefit the family unit?
Devoted to her Husband
Because she is devoted to him, he can trust her. Trust that whatever she is doing, it is for the home and family benefit (Prov 31:11).
Supportive of her Husband
A Godly wife seeks what is best for her Husband; at all times, all throughout her life (Prov 31:12). She understands that he is human and a sinner just as she is and offers the same Grace the Lord has offered her. She seeks to empower her Husband to be a Godly Husband by being a Godly Wife.
Selfless and Serving
Wives that please the Lord are ones that spend more time supporting the beautification of their family and husband than their own appearance. Instead of spending vain and materialistic time on herself, she seeks the good of others who are in more need (Prov 31:20, 30). She does not neglect to take care of her self, so that she can take care of others. She seeks the absolute best for her family (Prov 31:17, 21-22). She is independent so that she finds ways and use her resources to benefit her family.
Submissive and Humble toward her Husband
Just as Jesus was submissive to God The Father, yet were equal (John 5:19; 10:30). The Wife is called to be submissive to her Husband; and still remains equal. Her role is equal in value and equally important; just in a different role. She willingly allows the Husband to lead. Ultimately a Wife’s submission to her Husband, is truly her submission to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). She is trusting God by trusting her Husbands leadership. Though his leadership is imperfect, she trusts that God will lead him in correction as well.
Where the worldly minded get it wrong
More so in recent history has this ‘submission’ been a rejected or confused topic in and out of the church. If anyone inside or outside of the church teaches that the woman’s submission to the husband was only a cultural issue and does not relate to today, is untrue. For thousands of years in different cultures throughout the world and history, this has been the stance of scripture and God’s design. If anyone teaches that this devalues or lessens the importance of a woman is also untrue. Cowardly men who do not lead their wives will be held just as accountable as women who do not submit to their husbands. Men who do lead their wives faithfully, will be rewarded just as much as women who faithfully submit to their husbands. Their values are equal. Food and Water are two different things but are both necessities for the body to function. The same is true for the family. Husband and wife my have different roles, but both are essential for the proper function of the family.
The Weaker Vessel?
1 Peter 3:7 is a verse where a lot of more modern people get hung up on. Some think that Peter is making women out to be lesser in value by calling them a ‘weaker vessel’. First, notice Peter is commanding Husbands to learn how to understand their wife. You can not properly lead someone if you do not understand them. Some Husbands fail to understand their wives and because they fail to understand them, they have their wives lead. There is a reason for God’s ordained different roles of Husband and Wife. The Husband has been commanded to lead for a reason. This is the reason: 1 Tim 2:14 brings up a hard truth. Because wives are not originally ordained to lead, they are more open to temptations and making wrongful leadership choices in the family. It was not a random coincidence that Satan pressed Eve to sin and not Adam first. Even Satan recognized where to strike first and how. A woman’s weakness is the mans strength, but the reverse is true. The mans weakness is the woman’s strength. Adam failed to lead and Eve took charge. It is this role reversal that Satan capitalized on.
But God in his infinite power and wisdom empowers woman to compensate where the Husband fails. There are strong women that lead their families because the Husband is absent or a dead beat dad. But do not be confused, it is the Holy Spirit working through the woman that empowers her to compensate and is not from her will. This is the case at times but it was not part of God’s original design for the family.
Despite the different roles; the wife is equally valuable and important to the family and to God (Galatians 3:28). God sent angles to Mary first to inform her about her miracle pregnancy before informing Joseph. God even made women to be the very first witnesses of the greatest event in human history, the resurrection. While hanging on the cross, Jesus made sure to take care of his mother Mary. He told John the take care of his mother while he was literally bleeding out on the cross. It is an ignorant view to teach that the bible teaches the inequality of women. Differences does not equate to being unequal.
Godly Wife Role
The wife needs to devote herself to her husband (as to the Lord). She needs to support her Husband with what ever means God empowers her with. She must be selfless and serve her Husband. The wife must submit to her Husbands leadership by trusting the Lord in his lead. WHEN the Godly Wife does this and loves her Husband in this way; this compels and empowers the Husband to fulfill his ordained roles. The Family unit benefits best when each partner is fulfilling their responsibility the way God calls them to.
When the Husband and Wife are striving to fulfill their unique responsibility, the family unit is strengthened. The children see and come to know the security and unity in a family. As Proverbs 31 points out, even the community sees the unity and effectiveness of the godly family unit. The children, extended family, and community benefit from a purely unified Godly Family when Husband and Wife are fulfilling their ordained distinct spousal roles.
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